By authority of the Federal Act of Mismanagement, we handle the mistakes you haven't made yet. From texting your ex at 2 AM to impulse-buying kayaks, we provide the oversight you didn't ask for.
Thinking about cutting your own bangs at 3 AM? We provide dull scissors and terrible lighting to ensure maximum regret.
Learn how to disappear from social obligations without explanation. Now offering advanced courses in "Leaving on Read."
Need a reason to delay that deadline? We generate believable lies about corrupted files, sudden illness, and wifi outages.
ESTABLISHING SECURE CONNECTION...
Know someone who has their life together? Report them immediately.